


i hacked into brockhampton's groupchat

by satrationyiffnutter



Category: BROCKHAMPTON (Band)
Genre: Instagram, Multi, Texting, groupchat, nut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-28 20:10:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15056846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/satrationyiffnutter/pseuds/satrationyiffnutter
Summary: these are actual things that the boys from brockhampton have said to each other. i hacked into matts account (he liked a lot of furry porn honestly) and looked at their groupchat, called 'ian and the greasy boys'. don't tell instagram that i did this my account could get terminated seriously. this is probably illegal lmaoooanyways i copied and pasted all their messages into here with the times/days! hope yall enjoy! it really teaches someone a lot about brockhampton





	i hacked into brockhampton's groupchat

06/02/2018  
04:56 am

  
**juba** : hey did u hbtiches buy me my almobd skim milk yet  
**jolba** : im dehydrated u know  
**jobias** : i need ingredience  
**ian** : beet root  
**joiba** : w,at  
**joiblan** : do you mean  
**ian** : g

  
6:02 am

  
**jobah** : i passed tge fuck out and yall havent DELIVERED MY MILK!!!!!!!!!! FU;CK  
**matt** : how high r u  
**joboa** : five foot eght.  
**jobba** : eihgt  
**jaba** : 8,  
**karen** : k

_**karen** sent a photo._

<https://www.flickr.com/photos/165420753@N02/43014280711/in/dateposted-public/>\ (note: the author doesnt fucking know how to add images.)

  
**karen** : hw do i luk  
**ashlan** : Fuck Me.  
**karen** : w  
**karen** : ok im down  
**karen** : where r u rn sexy  
**ashlan** : Fuck.  
**ashlan** : walgreen’s  
**karen** : ok im omw bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
**romilliam** : you wake me up  
**romilliam** : because of this.  
**ashlan** : sorry cant hear u getting fucked!  
**merlyn** : ciaran isnt even out tha door yet this bitch eating leftover fries  
**merlin** : n watching ghost adventures  
**dom** : its tru  
**karen** fyck yall dom u arent even in the room bitch!!!!!!!!!!  
**ian** : ciaran u better go collect ur man i swear to GOD i abandoned him at walgreens for this  
**karen** : yah…….. Ok  
**jobilliam** : while ur at walgreens get my ffucking skim almond milk.  
**joberta** : pgease.  
**matt** : i don’t think itll be the right milk youre thinking about ;)  
**jubera** : fuck you ratt you always try to ruin my day. if you get whole milk ill kick your whole Ass. Theres only one kind of almond skim milk in the store theres no physical way that they could get the ‘wrong kind of milk’ hur hur hur Fuck YOu.  
**matt** : hm.

8:09 am

  
**kpop star doan** : heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! How r ur days going!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 x3  
 **Kpop star doan** : remember 2 drink your water!! Ill work on the music video todayyyyy lol :3 ;3 <3

8:45 am

 **old saint nick** : get ur bitch ass kawaii ass shit out of here big vagina mouth. i feel like ur makign me having a day is something ur OBLIGATED 2 kno about you know??? It isnt right and honestly youre acting like a child. please take that down and be more sensitive about what youre saying or im going to block you this ISNT a JOKE (like u think it is)

10:12 am

 **ashlan** : FUCK  
 **ashlan:** SJHTI  
 **ashlan:** CAN SOMEONE COMEHELP OG MY GOD OH MY GODF  
 **Dom:** IS SOMETHING HAPPENING???? ARE U OK  
 **ashlan:** SOMEONES ON THE ROOF OF NBY FUCKGN CAR IM SWE M,W K,.,ING WEVERYNWHERE  
 **Ass:** CAIRNA IN THGE BACK SEAT HES FUCKIGN OUT COLD HE CANT HELP MY  
 **Dom:** PULL OVER U MIGHT HAVE HIT THEM!!

 **Mutt:** holy fuck  
 **ashlan:** OL,L K   
**Ian:** ashlan grey and ciaran mcdonald found dead in miami  
 **Old saint nick:** are they ok  
 **merlyn** : oh shit haha bro.,   
**merlyn:** hope u dont die   
**Ian:** first of all fuck you william for disrupting my fucking JOKE  
 **Ian:** second of all yes.   
**Ian:** yes but theyre dead.  
 **Joba;** hsit bro   
**dom:** WHY ISTN HE RESPONDING YET OMG **.**  
 **Jaoba:** i could drive yall home myself if u give me the skim almond milk! :)  
 **ashlan:** OK WE pulled ov.,e er mnow **.**  
 **ashlan** : aosl.. . c,sd.,.’’;’  
 **ashlan:** ;/./.] opl;  
 **dom:** do i need to call 911????  
 **merlyn:** who on top of ur car lol  
 **merlyn:** hello  
 **merlyn** : lol  
 **ashlan** : AAMEER IS ON TOP PF OUR FUCKIGN FAR HIS FINGERS HAVE SUNK INTO THE HOOD LIKE CLAWS   
**ashlan** : HES TRYING TO TALKM US INTO LETTING HIM BACK INTO THE BAND OMGGGG COME HERE NOW  
 **Ashlan** sent a video.  
 **Ian** : BITCH WHAT THE FUCK  
 **Merlyn** : he hissin like a cat lolllll!!  
 **merlyn** : hope u dont die lol!  
 **Joba** : dom and i are coming to collect u   
**Jerboa** : dom cant text rn bc he drivin B)  
 **Jubah** : anyways im expecting that fucfkfing almond skim milk.  
 **ashlan** : ciarans still ashleep in the car  
 **ashlan** : AMEERS CRY9ING NOW.  
 **Juul** : where r yall we drivin to walgreens  
 **ashlan** : IN THE MIDDLE OF SOME FUCKING FOREST  
 **ashlan** : WE SWERVED OFF THE ROAD  
 **Jiba** : oh fuck that lol  
 **Jilba** : dom aint taking his car into the forest we turnin back  
 **ashlan** : FUCK YOU OMG

  
_**ashlan** sent a photo._

_<https://www.flickr.com/photos/165420753@N02/42964913302/in/dateposted-public/> _

  
**ashlan** : HE HAS A MIC AND EVERYTHING OMGGGG  
 **ashlan** : he's tryingga to grab might phone  
 **ian** : lmaoo what a crazy motherfucker

  
_**ashlan** sent a photo._

_<https://www.flickr.com/photos/165420753@N02/42964913342/in/dateposted-public/> _

**dom** : maybe you'll be able to fight him off once ciaran wakes up :)  
 **dom** : anyways i need 2 go somewhere w lana good luck <3  
 **jihba** : byee!  
 **merlyn** : c u later  
 **ian** : tell her I say hi  
 **ashlan** : hgc,g,g, fastn CKEYs   
**old saint nick** : yah bye dom  
 **ashlan** : CAN SOMEOEM PLEASE CALL 911 FOR US?

11:09 am

  
 **karen** : yall bitches better help hah  
 **karen** : ameer took ashlans phone 2  
 **karen** : he rapping every verse he remembers sitting on the hood of the car so we can't drive away.  
 **karen** : he's still crying while doing it  
 **karen** sent a video.  
 **ashlan** : a,.  
 **jubba** : what the fyck. is my almond skim milk rotten now?? what the fuck guys  
 **jehba** : honestly at this point ill drink anything thats white and liquidy  
 **matt** : im hard  
 **matt** : do i need my fursuit or not motherfucker  
 **jlokba** : Id Rather Fuck A Possom.  
 **ian** : yo deadass can yall shut the fuck up? SHUT UP  
 **ian** : yall are making me go CRAZY shit UP  
 **ian** : CAN YALL SHT THE FUCK UPO??? PLEASE?  
 **ian** : WE DONT EVEN KNOW IF ASHLAN IS ALIVE AT THIS POINT;  
 **karen** : yah he is but he crying in the back seat next to me. ameer stole his phone so now he crying and taking aesthetic dick polaroids waiting for this to blow over  
 **ashlan** : Hey . Don't jump to conclusions   
**ashlan** : I Got my phone back . Due to Ameers convincing words and dedicated actions i think we should give him a Second chance ! It will make me and the fans happy !!! Songs will be So Much better ! Ciaran is messing with you all haha stop that Bearface I Have not Stolen ashlans Phone ! Anyways he says he's very sad and sorry and Poor now . He works at Walmart please help him he really needs it please guys !. Pl  
 **ian** : hey ameer?  
 **ashlan** : Yes .  
 **ashlan** : I Mean i will tell him what You want me to haha !!  
 **ian** : bitch

  
_**ian** has banned **ashlan** from **ian and the greasy boys.**_

 

 

5:09 pm

  
 **merlyn** : hey.  
 **merlyn** : hey guys

  
_**merlyn** sent a picture._

_<https://www.flickr.com/photos/165420753@N02/28146045747/in/dateposted-public/> _

**Ian** : DID SOMEONE RIP OFF HIS DICK SDKFHUISFKLSDJF IUSDJFKHSLDFJLKSDFLK  
 **jehoba** : i bet that shit crusty, he probably use his tears as lube  
 **karen** : used**  
 **karen** : ameer broke into our car and was roasting ashlan’s polaroids of my dick  
 **karen** : he was so fucking angry that he repeatedly screamed about how his dick was 8 times longer than mine  
 **karen** : so i ripped his **off.**  
 **kiko:** this is why i never join this god forsaken group chat   
**romilliam** : so now any time i wanna do smth w u guys, i risk losing my dick  
 **romilliam** : hm.  
 **dom** : can you bring ashlan back into the chat  
 **ashlan** has joined the chat.  
 **dom** : ok first of all i admit ameer deserved it but  
 **dom** : there are so many alternative ways yall couldve handled that…. Like  
 **dom** : im able to make a list of them thats longer than my wang  
 **karen** : …..that’s not saying much

  
_**dom** sent a picture._

_<https://www.flickr.com/photos/165420753@N02/28146048317/in/dateposted-public/> _

 

  
 _ **dom** has banned **karen** from_ **_ian and the greasy boys._**

 

 

 

9:19 pm

  
 **rob** : did i miss anything


End file.
